By Its Okumu

If there’s something I’d want to know before the rapture, then it has to be what the freaking hell was going through the guy’s mind. Yeah, the bloke who came up with the exam idea. Those are usually the kind of thoughts that race through my mind when an exam has proven too hard a nut to crack. One, either because it was generally tough. Two, perhaps because when I was supposed to be reading hard, I was somewhere else ‘happening.’ We…we be happening!

I still remember it like it was yesterday. Okay, that’s sort of a cliche but I couldn’t have put it any better. When the CAT paper made me a punching bag. Blow after blow after blow. I had no option but to stand and return the paper to the lecturer after I had written nothing on it. I was blank. Totally. The lecturer had a look at it and asked if anything was wrong. My response was not what he had expected judging by his facials. ‘Everything sir. Everything.’ And, I walked out.

Okay, here’s the story;

It was one of those days when you wake up and feel like doing nothing the whole day. It does happen, right? I felt jaded and lethargic. Ironically, I had not even done a lot of work the previous day. At least nothing that can make anyone weary.

So I decided that I wasn’t going to do anything the whole day. Not even attending one of the most important classes for a student taking a business-related course; accounting. I figured that it wasn’t going to cost me much because I consider myself a bright chap. Well, it’s a shame that the torture I went through, in the form of a sheet of paper, made me question my intellectual capacity.

It so happened that on that same day that I’d decided to become a jerk, the lecturer introduced a new topic; ratios. Okay, I know at this point you’re wondering why the hell I consider ratios a hard topic. It isn’t, but if you are not as prepared, it is. Especially if you don’t have any clue about the formulas. And, with formulas, there’s nothing like guesswork. It’s either you know or you don’t. There’s no in-between.

The lecturer went about his business and after he was done, announced that there was going to be a CAT in the following class. No one complained. You’d think that because it was the second one, and in most cases one CAT is usually more than enough, people would complain. They didn’t. There were a few dissenting voices at the back, but the front-park was all quiet. Not surprising. That’s what I had gathered from a close friend.

I gathered also, that the lecturer had not given the scope where he’d be testing us from. Perhaps a subtle way of telling us to read everything. Yeah, we did read and prepare for everything, apart from the notes of the last lecture. We assumed that chances were, he’d not test from the topic he’d just introduced. Oblivious that our goose had been cooked.

So, like everyone, I’d entered the lecture hall like a boss, prepared to obliterate whatever kind of test the lecturer had for us.

It caught me by surprise therefore, that all the questions were about ratios. It caught the whole lot of us by surprise but the other guys were better off because they’d actually attended the class. To make matters worse, the lecturer had brought his chair and sat next to me so any chances that I had of stealing were squashed.

I tried scratching my head to recall something, anything, but I couldn’t. Funny considering I had not even attended the class. I even tried praying but stopped mid-way through after I had figured that putting God under that sort of pressure was too unfair.

Yeah, so I stood and walked out. There comes a time when… a man’s got to do what a man’s go to do.




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