By Abi Edith.

Late afternoon ,
Blazed with red skies and colors of fall
None of that is for me.
For the last couple of weeks,
My life has been stark and without a song.
Am scared of the darkness
The monster awaits, ready to strike .

Every night
I fight, at least to keep my heart soft
To weigh down all my woes
To keep it clean, make it feel full
Then I shut my eyes, I sleep
I sleep and wake up to a new day
Glad for the dayspring yet scared
Of the nightfall.

The monster in my incubus
Twists my hopes, stabs my soul
Kicks off my inner peace
Voice booms like thunder,
Threats fly through the night
The horrifying ordeal
Stop her pulsation, rob my joy
Leave me with nothing
Nothing but a cold empty feeling deep inside.

They say, when you find love
You are the happiest human being alive.
They also convince us the opposite of love is separation.
So,
A mother losing the worlds battle
Giving up her only child to the cruel world
Is separation?
But then,
It’s beyond human power
The intelligent men did wash their hands
Said it won’t be long
Left her at the mercy of he above
So, the opposite of love isn’t separation.
Its apathy.
Just like,
The white string of yarn,
Kept on rolling but couldn’t find its other end
And was finally cut.

Yesterday, she was better
Today, she’s drifting
Like a small boat on the vast of the ocean,
Overturned and ruled, by the waters of the ocean
Like a candle lit and burned to the very last bit.
She’s losing the glowing spark.
This phase is taking a toll on her
Just like an oasis on the verge of drying.

I lay down beside her,
Squeeze her arms in my hands
She weakly forces a smile, faintly whispers to me
“It shall be well.”
Could this be the night I dreaded for?
I mutter hopelessly to myself
As my throat begins to get thick
Fear creeps in, sudden frisson run down my back
I quickly tighten my grip
Not ready to let go.

I decide to lay wide awake all night
Hanging on to the feathery edge,
Curious, unsure
It’s a numbing, chilling, heated emotion
Filled with loneliness, overflowing an ocean
Locking me into a black and white city
Of self-depreciation and pity
But still, wondering the ledge.
Armed to battle the monster
Negotiate if need be
Whatever it takes, just not tonight
Heavens could wait a little longer.

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