Written by Okumu Kenneth
‘I can’t. I won’t.’ You’d think that such words are used in rejecting awful things like taking poison. Shocks on you! Those are the words used by a significant number of coopa chics who have vowed to never date a guy from…wait for it, their beloved school! No, not even in their dreams! If you are a guy from coopa and that doesn’t sound like an insult to you, then I don’t know what is! I’m not going to sit and pretend that I don’t give a toss because I do.
You see, I thought that love was blind. That love was not a respecter of religion, race, colour or age. That love was an indescribable thrill that transcends everything until I came across girls from our school who thought otherwise. I’ve never felt that daft. Unbelievable as it may sound, I was wrong-very wrong-if the rhetoric’s of those coopa chics are anything to go by.
It’s evident that I’m bruised. I’m bleeding profusely. I’m bleeding because of the certainty that the number of girls who follow the ‘I can’t date a guy from coopa’ mantra is big enough. Surprisingly big. Their reasons? Well…
- We are cheats and liars.
Now, this has to go down as joke of the century. Slightly edging out Steve Harvey’s bottling at the Miss World event. Men are just men. Their geographical location does not matter. And then again; if all men are the same, what makes men from different places or campuses any different?
- We are broke.
Okay, okay. We are both in school, right? School fees is paid for both of us, right? Both of us are given pocket money, right? Almost the same amount, right? You expect us to buy you pizza every Tuesday or take you to IMAX for couples Tuesday, right? Wrong! It is hope that kills. If the money is there, fine. If it isn’t, then we expect it to be fine as well. If you don’t cling when we are at our lowest, remain down there when we are at our highest! Wait, we don’t pass as sponsors as well!
- We are sex hungry!
It becomes a tragedy when people don’t want to accept things as they are. Sex is a give and take thing. For far too long, we’ve been indoctrinated with the belief that it’s the men who get satiety from copulation. Wrong! If we are hungry, then girls are just as bad, if not worse.
- The distance is too short.
There must be a feeling that girls usually have when they travel to go see their boyfriends elsewhere. Again, I’m not sure what girls really want because I’d kill to see my girlfriend every day. And no, the threat of familiarity doesn’t hold water if love is involved. Becomes a problem if it’s all fake!
- We happen to be boring because our suitors get to see us every day.
Look here ladies, if their face is not as pretty as you like them, there’s no point. The good thing is our faces are always lit! Doesn’t make sense for you girls to look elsewhere!
- We are childish and unromantic.
I have met a significant number of guys from our school who are very mature. You girls can’t possibly be from mars, can you? Romantic? Well, that one depends on where you come from!
What I’m trying to say is that coopa guys are good enough. Just as good as guys from any other campuses, if not better. Safe to say that anything on the contrary is hogwash and balderdash!