Written by Stella Gathigia
I can almost see you when I stare deep into her eyes. I see the pain she holds deep within her. You are more than a word or a narrative to her. You have become her life. You have clothed her with misery and she sure has seen better days. Depression you; oh you just swept in real quick. Came in like a ghost, creeping in when nobody dared to put their guard up. You didn’t come alone though. You of course invited everyone to the party, the party she didn’t want to be in. Anxiety and fear are at a corner talking how the next party will be like. Depression you stand at the door inviting others in.
I can tell she doesn’t like being there. She has made a point to me over and over that she has tried severally to leave but you still suck her in- deeper and deeper into this hell hole. She has mastered the skill of masking herself with faint smiles and chuckles that even her bare emotions are known to her and the maker. Instead, she cries and screams but nobody seems to hear her at this party.
She tells me how lonely she is but I am always there by her side and wonder how this could be; perhaps I am not good company- I think to myself. Anxiety holds her hostage inside her heads- her thoughts do not spare her a bit! She builds a fort around herself to prevent invasion; Sleeping with the lights on so she doesn’t lose herself in the dark. But you depression, are already a darkness in her life. Insecurities flow like a river so she prefers to stay out of harm. She constantly looks over her shoulder while walking down the streets. Asking how she looks every single time when someone looks our way and even though she is beautiful, she doesn’t really think much of herself. She is just but the 21 year old she imagined herself to be. In fact, she had imagined her life a whole lot different and now she is the girl with a whole lot of issues. She has become a stranger to her own self and only she can find light at the end of the tunnel. Depression, oh you depression, you have taken her through this roller coaster of emotions and just when she thinks the coast is clear, there you are again. Surprise! I implore you to leave her alone but I know she must too.