Written by Ivy Kaye

I seemed lost.  I actually felt lost. Walking through the crowd made me feel even lonelier.  I was simply tired of smiling and grinning back to those who embraced warm hearts.  As much as they smiled or rather pretended to be thrilled to see me, I knew they hated me.  Or I believe they do. Then I thought, what’s the worst they can do? Words are like a sharp dagger; they can stub your heart and rip it apart. However let’s not forget, am blind and deaf. The girls say, I look past their love and never heard their cries.  Anyways, I ignore the smiles, walked past the waves and played my music loud…100 violin orchestra; a composition that made those false smiles distort into funny frowns.  Come kick me if you can.

Early weeks in Copa are always interesting: girls competing over new trends in fashion, boys spicing up how they demented village girls back home and swallow on the bitter pill that they sired a few offspring and hope to scapegoat on the fact that they are far away. The couples try effortlessly to prove their loyalty while some like us, find the library the new hangout.  Am not a bookworm but I would rather stare at empty pages and read kina okumu’s and my romantic friend Arnold’s blog, than sit and talk about sweet nothings.  Wi-Fi is free, what can I possibly lose!  Time?  You haven’t heard about time travel?


“eii budaboss, Hizi ni gani?  Ciko alienda? ”

People are irritating, and Partoz is one of those who will see you curve a girl and actually call her out to come say hi.  It’s not like I am avoiding her, you know, after inviting 9…10 let’s just say a few ladies to my room,  I thought Ciko would be different.  No one had ever seen the colour of her bra; none had brushed his fingers through her hair. She would put ideas into your head and actually give no damn about the actual head.  She would dress like a tennis player and talk like a nun.  At some point she would whisper threats into your ears and make you think you are just a boy.  She was the goddess of seduction and challenges but I conquered her and now, behind that entire act, is a scary little girl desperate for love with no Disney thrills at all. Absolute turn-off.

“Ako tu.  Si I heard ako na ball?”It wasn’t a good idea to mention that but a brother should clean his hands before things fall apart. Ciko was growing fat with every single day. Common theory of adding weight in women is pregnancy and over feeding, the latter cannot be applied in Copa.  Yes, meals are cheap, of good quality, the taste…ummh…. Let’s just say all the girls in our campus lost weight more than the opposite.

“Iza iza.  Hizi vitu huhappen.  Utasurvive” I had a strong urge to ask him if he really thought she was pregnant but I suppressed the idea considering I have always been “Baba Yao” and such things shouldn’t bother me.  That was me being a general hag, sometimes I wish I hadn’t laid my standards too high, maybe my low-key life would have made things livelier. So, I keep stealing glances at Partoz Instagram page until I can’t hold it any more.

“Ako sawa” I compliment.

” Kusettle nini nini.”

“Juu ako poa ama ni cover the face hit the base?”

I said with a satirical laugh because that girl, in spite of having her curves all over for physically starved men like us to tap on her ass, had no face in all her photos.  Parto gave me a hard a look, whether friendly or warning I couldn’t decode. But it was still a bad look. He later looked away to an awkward silent that confirmed the seriousness of the matter.  Deep down I knew she was great, not the greatness of taking her to my mother but that of what every man should wake up to.

We ended up heading for supper at around six. It’s a common strategy that when single, save as much on food and hope to treat a girl to Planet Yoghurt every Thursday when you find a pretty naïve fresha who just came from the village.  The older girls will spend all your HELB money in one day, eating raw onions, five pieces of fries and Kiwi fruit juice. We then receive a message from Jeremy.  Of course he was coming to floss his new girlfriend but it’s always exciting.  I do think sometimes people are just fascinated with the idea of being in love rather than who they are really in love with and sad as it is, many have been victims.

Back at the room, Partoz finally shows me his girlfriend and for once I could no longer hide the fact that he beat me in my own game. Before I could actually find strong straight forward words, those that I shouldn’t repeat ever in my life, Jeremy walks in with his girlfriend; Partoz crush, my sister!

Am hungry, in the middle of the field, in the middle of the night, in the middle of a crisis.  I have an Okoa Jahazi and one text left with one question.  Whom to text? Should I text mom and let her know how Tracy poses semi nude photos for money? Ask Jeremy to stay away from her? Warn Partoz on even trying to escort her to her class or blackmail her to keep away from the two?  One thing am sure, tomorrow should dawn new things and any person who tries to grin at me will surely get a punch on their face.


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