Written by Okumu Kenneth
Despite being miles away from school, the elder cuckmanship in me says with absolute certainty, that there’s a girl somewhere swishing her ample endowments like campus is some sort of a beauty contest. And, their male counterparts are cutting glances like their lives depend on it but can’t summon their fear and gather enough courage to approach some of these hotties. In a nutshell, as at the moment, my cuckmanship tells me that there are beauties, with no beasts. We, the real beasts are just chilling, fending off the possibility of familiarity risk. We know how bad it is to be labelled a savage. The only sure way to mitigate such a risk is to stay low-key for a while. See now. Wisdom.
From where I’m seated, I can see those young men gathered in a group of four or five, discussing what has turned out, over the years, to be pertinent to them; girls. They are discussing the ‘girls with the biggest behind.’ The same guys who can’t tell you who their deputy governor is. Why? Because that’s not of concern to them, but girls are. The girl in picture upon noticing that all eyes are on her, increases her walking pace making the movements of her bum even quicker and the guys are like, ‘Msee…thitimaaa!’ And that’s just about it. She goes away without any of the blokes making an attempt on her. Poor folks. I can feel their frustrations from miles away. With girls, you come in late, and it is almost a guarantee that there’s someone already in the semi-finals. I can bet my life that there’s nothing as bad as being told that you were good enough but it was too late.
In my musing, I can also see girls walking in groups and a guy wondering how the hell he is going to pick one out of the bunch. The mere thought of having to introduce himself to a gathering is lethargic to say the least so he gives up because the situation needs tact and he’s tactless. I feel bad for the guy because had he known of me, I’d surely have recommended Robert Greene’s 33 Strategies of War. It looks somewhat crazy, but the big question is; how bad do you want her? If the answer is ‘so bad’, then reading a book that contains answers is too small a task. That would have been my advice but since the guy probably doesn’t know that a craftsman like me exists, he has chickened-out already.
In that girls grouping, there are those that are standing out-those that can make a guy hung up an important call with some,’ Just a minute, I’m calling you back,’ and they don’t even have the airtime to call back because there’s no surety that the image before them, will slap their faces again. When the other girls notice that one of them draws more attention, unintentionally or otherwise, they start getting jealous. The cuckmanship in me says that there are some who have already started getting jealous. I can see it.
As the ongoing troops (2nd, 3rd and 4thyears) start trooping in, the male freshmen fancy their chances are beginning to get slimmer. I can feel their nervousness from afar. They fear that the inroads they had made towards their female counterparts, is getting threatened. And rightfully so. They feel that the helb money will play a part in losing because naturally, money talks. Unfortunate folks. I can see that they have already started getting jealous. The school, in my eyes, as at now, is full of jealous animals trapped inside human bodies.
In the same reverie, I can see devoted church fellas who have gone unnoticed because in this period, God has been thrown to the periphery. And then again, it is hard to notice the devoted ones because going down on your knees in the alleys of cuck will even make the cuck administration question your religious beliefs and there’s nothing as bad as anyone attempting a smearing campaign on your faith.
I can also see freshmen walking to classes with books. The whole lot of them. The other ongoing troops are shrugging and saying, ‘Hawa tunawapatia tu one month vitabu zikuwe past-tense.’ How true that statement is, is a mystery as of now. That is low-key jealousy. It will only get worse when the ongoing troops (girls especially) realize there’s a sudden paradigm shift in attention. And that, there’s absolutely nothing they can do. Jealousy will creep in and the school, for a certain period, will be host to a bunch of jealous fellas.
Enough of my musing. Let me go prepare coffee and perhaps, just perhaps, I’ll be back with more tales. Adios.