Written by Rodgers.
Ever had that feeling that something is missing ? Yea, well, that’s how I feel every day at around 6pm,
and today was no different. I scoured my bag for some lose change, threw my black and favorite hoodie
on and as a boogie man slipped into the dark chilly evening. As usual the famous k street was full, well
almost full but none of that was a bother to me. I slipped my left earphone and my Trap playlist boomed
on, my right ear listening to anything that may be of interest to me. Lovers huddled together, skaters
doing what they do best, slay queens queening their ways into warmer beds, church goers, well, you
know what they do and then there were the “form guys” one in particular I wont mention the name for
security reasons. This guy didn’t know how to party, he was the party. Like he could show up any where
any time as long as girls were around
I turned right at the door way to D1 and I can truthfully say I froze in my tracks. Even in the gathering
darkness I could tell it was her. No doubts. The girl that graced occasions perched on high heels that
accumulated her supple figure was walking towards me. That thin nose, well groomed lashes, dainty lips
and that alabaster smooth skin. I was done, completely at the mercy of the white lace blouse crowning
her beauty. I mean she would look good in anything….or nothing. As you might have guessed, I have a
crush on her.
“You are staring..”she says, though nicely and slowly.
“ooh..sorry..I just can’t help it. You look really nice.” Smooth I thought to my self but am pretty sure I
was sweating then.
“ I actually never thought of how you look up close.” I stammered to a finish. Who am I kidding, I follow
her IG account, the whole four of them let alone my room facing k street and never missing a glimpse of
her. But today was different, I was closer, but again felt like we were miles apart.
“Thanks…I think.” She said after a while, brushed past me and walked off her hips swaying seductively
behind her as though to mock me.
I can’t quite recall how the rest of the evening went, or the rest of the week for that matter, being busy
beating my self up of what wrong I said…or didn’t say. I saw her silhouette every time I closed my eyes,
could almost catch her scent whenever the wind blew, all the while feeling my heart had been ripped
out. I this how love feels like? Is it just the hurt or something more, I had to find out, I had to see her and
talk to her, mostly just see her. Though it was 8pm into the night, I had to, I needed to.
Ever been to D6 before? This would be my third time. I slipped on my hood of course and slipped into
the night. Of course k street as usual didn’t lack its charm. Past D1 I walked and turned left onto some
pathway that I doubt anyone knows the name. Needless to say my mind was racing, what would I say,
how would I greet her, should I apologize for last time or should I just admire from a far.
I walked into the hostel, feeling quite courageous I should say. Of course I knew where she slept, but for
reasons best known to me I’ll just say ground floor upper side.
Through the door way I went as determined as a knight on a quest, maybe I was. The chocking smell of
cheap perfume was all over, used bottles littered all over. You would think for a girls hostel it would be
Slowly, as though to remind me of my being here I felt her, through the strong scents I caught hers. As
though to pull me from my rally of thoughts, I heard her giggle, as though to rescue me from my
fantasies I heard her voice. I dare say I increased my pace as I turned the bend. As her beauty always
leaves me awestruck I remained still as if petrified. Only, this time it wasn’t her beauty that left me
Yes, she was there and so was another guy, remember the party guy? Both leaning into each other. The
florescent lights from some room bathing them into unquestionable clarity.
I can’t recall how I stopped in my tracks, I cant recall how I turned to leave. But I do recall supporting
myself on the walls on my way out, a sour taste filling my mouth. I couldn’t think straight, heck, I
couldn’t think at all. For a moment I couldn’t see another thing, their image permanently imprinted on
my mind. Is this how jealousy felt like?, or was this just hurt? I think I bumped roughly into someone, but
right then I couldn’t have cared. I felt like screaming, like crying, right then you could have asked my
name and I told you hers. Its not like no one had warned me that it would have ended awfully. Many
had wondered at how I stared at her in the hallways. But now, now none of all that even mattered. I
dare say I was heartbroken. All not a week after believing someone could want me.
I was at the verandah behind D2, about to jump over the balustrade into my hostel, away from
everything when I was brought back to cold harsh reality.
“Hey, wait up,” for a moment I couldn’t move, all my muscles tense to the bone. Had she come to taunt
me? To haunt my stupid feeling? I doubt if its even scientifically possible but I swear I felt my blood boil
and all I could see was red. I felt precipitation threaten to form, all in an instant. The hurt that had
overwhelmed me was now overcome with anger, pure rage that even I didn’t know I had. I tightened my
hold on my feeling, which had brought me here in the first place and turned to face her.