Written by Okumu Kenneth

Inside the confines of a lecture room. This is something that I have contemplated writing about for a while now because I find it fascinating. If you thought stories about aliens and how planes are disappearing to only God knows where, were fascinating, then you simply don’t pay close attention to what happens inside our lecture rooms. The small things that happen, which more often than not, go unnoticed. So yeah, I’ll write about those trivialities. Why? Because you can’t stop an article whose time has come! And…wait, because I can!

Lecture. Man, I always wonder if they-whoever they are-could possibly have come up with a better word for classes in campus because boy! That word strikes me. Probably even worse than lightning could ever strike anything. If you had a father who was a no-nonsense disciplinarian, then chances are, you know what I’m talking about. If not, then he must be of mixed descent. Not a typical African! That’s why I never judge anyone who misses lectures. No point in hurting a wound that’s trying to heal.

Okay, back to the lecture room before I digress further. I’m not going to talk about the lecturers because one, that would be too mainstream. And two, I’d rather not talk about a person if they aren’t as great as Muhammad Ali. I’ll just highlight the behaviours exhibited by characters inside the rooms when a lecture is going on;


  1. The Irritating Clique.

Okay, I have a lot of nasty things to say about this lot because naturally, it is easier to spite than praise. These are the folks who form their own kamukunji when the lecture is going on. They’ll crack their own jokes and laugh as if nothing serious is taking place. The problem with some of these cliques is that they don’t even talk in hushed undertones. And 99% of the stories are usually-I can even bet my life on this-mushene! If you are unfortunate enough to sit next to this sad bunch, then you’ll be left with no choice but to say the word ‘Pardon’ on repeat mode, because you won’t hear a damn thing.


  1. Attention Seekers.

This is usually by the ladies. You know, those who come late to class then drag a chair from the back as if that wasn’t going to make everyone cringe. Backbenchers are usually the most affected because they are forced to resort to the famous word…’Pardon.’ To make it even worse, these sorry beings will sit on those chairs dramatically to send a message that they don’t care. Word of advice; if you are going to make us vunja shingo, let it be outside and not in class. For obvious reasons.


  1. Lazy bones.

I tend to think that there people who are just inherently lazy. It’s in their DNA. How do you explain someone copying a sample calculation question? Even the decimal points! I mean, does your girlfriend/boyfriend even trust you that much?


  1. Weird folks.

Someone once told me that being weird is sexy. He was glad that he was a weirdo. But if I were him, I wouldn’t call speaking in the middle of sleep sexy. That’s, at the very least, horrifying. Now, these weirdos are the guys who sit alone in their own corner. They don’t talk to anyone the whole lesson. In case the lecture is boring, they’ll plug in their earphones and listen to music. Okay, that’s an assumption; they listen to whatever. With these weird people, you just aren’t sure. How weird guys charm a woman enough to make them their partners still remains a mystery.


  1. The serious chaps.

These are the guys who take life way too seriously. They’ll frown at you over silly stuff like telling them to pass over a book to someone else. For them, interruption of any kind is suicidal. They’d rather laugh at the dry lecturer’s jokes than yours. That’s how serious it is. I don’t have much to say about these people because you never know why they’re working as hard.

  6. Jokers

Everyone loves light moments, right? These are the guys who’ll shout something that will crack the whole lot of you up. No coincidence that they usually have the loudest of voices. They can be irritating at times but they’re ordinarily not bad people.


Okay, I’ll leave it at that for today. Where do you lie?


Have a lovely weekend, won’t you?





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